Pretty Pretty Bang Bang

You know you’re getting old if…

• At 9 p.m. you’re getting ready for bed, not getting ready to go out.
• Anti-aging skin care products become really important in your life.
• You choose your cereal based on fiber content and not because it has a cool toy inside.
• You actually like eating your vegetables.
• College students look really young to you.
• You sensibly stop drinking after two beers instead of when the bar closes.
• You start sentences with, “When I was a kid…”
• You think the driving age should be raised because 16 year-olds are too immature to handle driving.
• You read books to enrich your life, not because they’re required for your class.
• You get out of bed before noon.
• You do your laundry in a timely manner, not when you have nothing clean to wear.
• You make your bed every day because you want to, not because you have to.

You know you’re still young if…

• You buy a McDonald’s Happy Meal just for the toy.
• You go back to college and buy “school shoes” because you can.
• You’re more excited about what’s in your Christmas stocking rather than under the tree.
• You still dream about what you’ll be when you grow up.
• You sometimes eat cereal for dinner and think it’s a great meal.
• Flowers and cards are nice, but you really want a present you can tear into.
• You look at people your age and think they’re old.
• You haven’t planned for retirement because you’re not old enough yet.
• Laying in bed all day reading trashy magazines sounds like fun.
• You sometimes buy new underwear so you don’t have to do laundry.
• You watch cartoons on Adult Swim and laugh hysterically at them.
• You rent movies just because they’re funny, not because they have a message.
• You still eat dessert after dinner.
• You sometimes go an entire day without consuming a fruit or vegetable.

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