Pretty Pretty Bang Bang

I have no idea what the Internet connection is here, but it’s really slow!

At lunch today, I was reminded of how much Arrowmont is like summer camp. The people from the mixed media class were wearing their necklace collages they’d made this morning, the pottery people were easily spotted due to the clay splatters on their faces and arms, and the metals people were being asked what they made this morning. It’s been really fun so far and I’ve fallen in love with two new tools. Anyone know how to make a hydraulic press, ’cause I want one!

Gatlinburg must want me to feel welcome because I was greeted on Sunday morning by two male mallards swimming in the creek outside our hotel room. Later, after Steve left, I wandered down the street to Subway for lunch. The place was packed with three large families and their brood of children (8-10 in all ranging from 18 months to 10 years). They were taking up all but one of the tables and making quite a mess. But I digress. As I was attempting to enjoy my sandwich, and ignoring the stares of the children, I saw two mallards walking down the street. They were so cute! One of the ladies exclaimed, “Look at those mallard geese.” Dumbass.

As I stated before, my residence is a bit rustic (pictures are coming) but the campus is really beautiful. What I love about my particular room is that it’s set up for three people but I’m the only one in it this week. Naturally, I chose the best bed. The shower and bathrooms are across the hall and are about the size of very small closets. I can’t sit on the toilet correctly because my legs are too long! The shower is about two steps up from summer camp. Thankfully, I have my shower shoes I purchased at the Wal-Mart classic on Mountain View.

I’m currently residing in Teachers House at Arrowmont. Arrowmont was founded in 1912 as a settlement school which meant students lived here during the week and returned home on the weekend to help on their farms. I’m living in what was once the boys dormitory and my room was the dining hall. I wonder if I’ll wake up with the munchies because of it?

I’ve checked into my room at Arrowmont and have settled in. I think the best way I can describe it is “rustic.” It’s like summer camp for adults. The room has that “cabin at the lake” smell that comes from age and dampness. Remember the scene in Trading Places when Penelope goes to pick up Louis at the police station? Well, she’s waiting for him when a smelly man falls asleep on her shoulder. Appalled, but too polite to wake him, Penelope pulls her perfume out of her purse and lightly sprays the stinky man with it. That was me yesterday. I knew I couldn’t live in the musty smelling room so I ventured out the the nearest village store and bought linen spray. I liberally sprayed the room, sheets and dresser drawers with my “Fresh Grass” scent. Who says I can’t rough it for a week? Oh, and pictures of the room will be coming soon.

The main section of Gatlinburg is a sight to see. The strip is a combination of Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Lake of the Ozarks and the fair. The sidewalks are right on the street, people are everywhere, and none of the stores are selling anything of any real value. And what’s up with fudge? Since when do people need to buy 1/2 pound slabs of it? Almost every block has a fudge/candy shop (or shoppe as they’re called). My favorite place is the “House of Illusions” a cheesy magic place with an airbrush painted sign. Pictures will be coming soon, I promise.

I now know why they call it the Great Smokey Mountains. It’s because everyone smokes! I have not seen so many people smoking in ages. The entire place looks like the outside of a hospital. Ewww!

We’ve finally arrived in Gatlinburg and are settled into the Hampton Inn. The most harrowing part of the trip was through Pigeon Forge. Imagine driving Hwy 76 in Branson (or whatever busy street you travel) during the worst traffic jam. Every time we were allowed to move forward, it was just to crawl to the next stoplight and stop again. Argh! Anyway, we finally made it to Gatlinburg, which wasn’t much better, but at least we were able to settle into the hotel room and get a beer. We ate at Smoky Mountain Brewery, a local pub wich great burgers and excellent beer. In trying to be healthy, I ordered the smoked chicken sandwich. It was good, but Steve gave me 1/2 of his blue cheese and bacon burger and it was much better. Thanks for sharing, honey! I’ll try to write tomorrow, but you probably won’t hear from me until the ride home next Saturday.

We’re now in Clarksville, TN and are about 40 or so miles from Nashville. We just made our first gas stop and I had to laugh when I went inside the station and saw a man wearing a Hawkeyes sweatshirt. Go Hawkeyes! We also crossed over the Ralph Smith bridge that spans the Cumberland River in KY. Photos will come next week.