Pretty Pretty Bang Bang

Yesterday was a day full of stress and emotions. I’ll start with the ugly which was my mid-morning breakdown. Within a half-hour’s time I’d received calls from our buyer’s home inspectors, termite inspectors and our real estate agent. It was just all too much. I began to feel like the walls were closing in on me and I snapped. I think I cried for about an hour, but got it all out of my system. I’m left with blotchy skin and very puffy eyes even today. Guess I should wear a bright scarf to light up my face. 

Once my fit was over, Steve and I sat down and talked and decided that we both needed to get out of the house. We pulled ourselves together and ran some errands that included returning some items bought before the “crash” (as I’m calling it). We strolled around the Mall (not purchasing anything despite having some gift cards) and just took a breather. We both felt better after a few hours.

Steve contacted the woman he had interviewed with earlier in the week and she said she was just waiting on a green light from the owner to hire him. The owner can still veto the whole thing so it’s not a done deal. In the meantime, Steve got a lead on a job in Branson working for a company he’s not only familiar with, but has done work for in the past. He called the woman hiring who told him to get his application in immediately because she’s closing the interviews and will make sure he gets one. It’s a very strong possibility for him and we’re feeling positive about it. He probably won’t interview until early next week so we need to just stay calm over the weekend.

Our house buyers wanted to come here on Saturday to sign contracts but now want to wait until the house inspection is done since there wasn’t anything in the contract about inspections. We told them it could wait until Monday or we’d change the contract to reflect the inspections. We can’t move forward with the other house until we have a signed contract from our buyers, but we can wait. The other house is still empty, no one has looked at it and we still think it’s supposed to be ours. Besides we should wait until Steve has a job offer before doing anything drastic. I can’t handle losing a house and a job in one month.

Today we’re both feeling better although we’re still on pins and needles about jobs and houses. I know everything is a life lesson and this has been a biggie. Steve and I have taken a good, hard look at what’s important, our spending habits and our lifestyle. We’re hoping we can apply these lessons in the future and avoid another extreme situation. TGIF!

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Since I’ve spent so much time lately talking about how stressed out I am, I thought I’d devote some space to my friends who have done so much to keep us sane. Thank you to everyone!

• Mick and Carrie had us over for a wonderful dinner Sunday night. The Puttanesca was fantastic! I think we have a new favorite Sunday dinner.

• Duane and Prudy treated us to a delicious dinner at Clary’s the night after Steve lost his job. It was good to laugh with them and forget about everything for awhile.

• Duane and Prudy also generously offered (more than once) to let us stay at their house and to board the kitties at Duane’s studio.

• My dad and Pamela have given me some good smacks upside the head when I was getting emotionally out of control. They both told me what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it! They are also two of the few people who can tell me these things without pissing me off.

• Pamela offered to organize a benefit event for Steve and I if money became too tight. I love how positive and proactive she is about all of this! Plus, Pamela has a truck so we may need her services in the future.

• Pavel is letting me work out for free right now which is keeping me sane.

• Pavel also said he’d help us find a rental place if we need it in the interim. Hope we don’t, but it’s nice to know it’s out there.

• Sarah Perkins is so confident Steve will have a job soon that she said we should go ahead with the house stuff and she’d co-sign on the loan if necessary. I don’t know if she can actually do that, but it was the nicest gesture. She was serious and Sarah doesn’t offer if she doesn’t mean it.

• Dad and Karen told me if we needed any extra money in the interim they would help. Plus, Karen offered to come down and help paint the new house when (not if) we get it.

Daily phone calls, generous offers and positive thinking are what’s holding us together. Thanks to everyone who talked me off a ledge or gave me something positive to think about when I was in a negative spiral. I love you all!

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Yesterday Steve had his second interview with a company and things went very well. We’re hopeful that an offer will be presented today or at least this week. In the meantime, the buyers of our house looked over the contract and are scheduled to sign papers on Saturday. Of course, if Steve doesn’t have a job, I don’t think I’m going to be able to let the sale go through. I just can’t deal with selling the house and joblessness all at the same time.

We’re trying to stay positive. Today, Pavel told me that his friend Doug has a really nice rental house with no tenants and would make us a deal if we need a place to stay. Duane and Prudy still have the free basement offer and our cats would stay at Duane’s studio. We have options, but I just don’t want to sell my house until the job thing is secure. Call me crazy, but I need some stability right now!

I’ll keep you posted on all the happenings.

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My emotional state is still a bit wobbly today, but I’m trying to keep my chin up. It’s now been a week since Steve lost his job and so much has been crammed into 7 days that I feel like it’s been 7 years. Last night I had a good cry and got it out of my system. I know I can’t go down the “what if” road (thank you, Pamela) but it’s hard not to take that turn. I called my dad this morning for some support and got my step-mom, Karen, who’s a real gem. She assured me that we wouldn’t go hungry (food is the LAST thing on my mind) and that they would help us in any way they can. I was raised to do things on my own and I think that lesson is one I learned a little too well. I just can’t bear to ask anyone for financial help. My belief is that they worked hard to earn it so why should they give it to me? Never mind I would gladly help someone else out if I could! But really, my worries are not financial as much as they are about the whole house situation. I don’t want to lose my house and not be able to have another one. Ok, honestly, I don’t want to leave unless I can have the house I want. There, I said it. I only agreed to put this house on the market with the idea that we would get the 1973 contemporary house we feel in love with a month ago. Which is still available so I don’t know why I’m acting like it’s all over. I guess it’s just that I don’t feel like we can go forward with a buy unless Steve has a job.

There is a silver lining to all this! Steve received an email from one of his contacts and has another phone interview today at 3:30 p.m. with the same woman and a manager from their KC office. I’m going to keep my outlook positive today. One day at a time. One day at a time.

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Steve and I are both having a “case of the Mondays” (know the movie?!). I went to work for a few hours and he’s been working hard calling and emailing people today. We’re trying to stay positive, but each day gets harder. I know, I know it’s only Monday and he’s been unemployed for a grand total of four working days, but it’s still stressful. He has several irons in the fire, but no one has called or emailed today. I think the worst thing about all of this is the house being sold at the same time. When we first decided to put it on the market it was because we’d found the other house and were willing to work for it. Now that the sale of this one is pending what will happen if Steve doesn’t get a job? Sure, we could temporarily live with Duane and Prudy, but what then? What if the other house sells before Steve gets another job? Will there be a financing problem if there is an interim and Steve’s on Unemployment? It’s all the change and uncertainty that makes all of this hard to swallow. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

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Remember the couple that was very interested in the house (Rebecca and Paul)? Well, they returned this morning and made us an offer. We countered. They agreed. Now, paperwork has yet to be signed, but we both gave our words and Steve and I agreed to take the signs out of the yard until Monday when the official paperwork could be signed (there’s a longer story here, but I’m editing for length). Yes, we made a preliminary deal based on each other’s word. 

Are we crazy? Maybe, but Steve and I both have this gut feeling that all of this is meant to be. Of course we can change our minds by Monday and so could they, but I really think this is the direction we’re supposed to go and that things will work out right. I talked to my dad who told me to go for it. He said life is all about taking chances and he knew Steve would have a job in no time. I’m still really calm about the whole thing. Since when did I get so zen about things? Am I - dare I say it - becoming an adult?!

I said from the beginning that the house we found was supposed to be ours and no one else’s. Now I feel like all the stress of getting our house ready, packing, juggling emotions and Steve’s job status is all part of the journey that will end at the new house. It has lots of room so everyone is welcome to visit. And you can bet we’ll have a fabulous housewarming party and you’re all invited!

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I’m still here and have not committed myself or done anything stupid. Steve did some contract work today so we got a little cash. And 417 wants two articles in September so that’s something. We’re both still very optimistic that this jobless interlude is almost over.

A couple came by and looked at our house today. Remember how I mentioned we weren’t taking it off the market? Well, talk got serious and they wanted to know how much we needed for Escrow, told us they wanted to close soon, that they had been pre-approved and basically loved the house as-is. Another sign? Maybe. Then we chatted with Duane and Prudy who both said, “SELL!” Their philosophy is that if there’s a buyer we should just sell the darned thing and things would work out. After all, we can always live in their basement. But where would our kitties live? Too much to think about tonight. I guess I’ll sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning. Thoughts anyone?

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Our life got a rude interruption on Tuesday. Steve lost his job. The owner decided he didn’t want to be a business owner any more and shut down the Springfield office. Steve received pay for the time he’d worked and two weeks’ of vacation pay. That’s it. I spent 24 hours in shock and Steve launched in to “get a job” mode. My first instinct is survival and to figure out what we could sell to get some money coming in. Steve said not to do anything drastic until Monday. As of yesterday (less than 24 hours later), two serious job possibilities had been presented. Word is out that Steve’s looking and both of these companies are interested in him.

I know God has a plan. I know things work for a reason. I don’t know the answer and I don’t know what lies ahead. I’d like to believe that all will work out and something better is out there. If I start thinking the worst, I’ll go crazy. 

The hardest part of this, for me, is accepting things from people. I’m great at giving. Lose your job/house/car? I’ll help. Need a place to stay or a meal? Call me. But if it’s me needing the same I have trouble accepting it. Yesterday, I walked into the gym thinking a workout would do me good, but I ended up in tears before I got there. I walked in and Pavel said, “Are you crying?!” I explained the situation and immediately he said I could keep working out for free and he’d call it “depression therapy.” Then he called John (a regular) over and they started brainstorming contacts and companies. It’s obvious I’m blessed with so many good friends. Last night, Duane and Prudy treated us to a very nice dinner and said if our house sells we can just put everything in storage and live in their basement (which is almost bigger than our house). They were serious.

Yes, this situation sucks and I’m a mess, but I have a weird calmness about me that it will all work out. Our house is still on the market because Steve believes we should just go about our regular business. It’s forcing me to take stock of what’s really important, to reassess my spending habits and to thank God daily for the blessings I have.

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Here are pictures of the updated bathroom, what I like to call “Page 67.” Please note, items L and O are currently on backorder and will be available for shipping after 9/01/08. Ok, enough dumping on Pottery Barn. Actually, it’s not all bad, it’s just that I really liked the funkiness of my old bathroom and this one feels too generic for my taste. That’s ok because I’m all about selling this baby and moving. Yesterday, a couple looked at the house and declared I had fantastic taste. Well, I think so, but that’s just my opinion!

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The bathroom is done! The tile looks amazing and Steve and I both commented that it was something we should have done years ago. To save money and time, we opted to put wainscoating on the walls to cover the design work that Mary had done years ago. I loved the pattern but we had to think about what a potential buyer would like and a simple, clean bathroom seemed like the answer. Problem is that it now looks like a page out of Pottery Barn - ick. I don’t like the pale green color, but we’d used it as trim before and I didn’t want to repaint the entire bathroom. Sure, everything looks really clean and nice, but it’s not my style. Hopefully, it will appeal to the masses and we can sell this baby soon!

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